(((Teke))) you aren't mistreating him. You are simply detaching....BIG difference. You've been respectful, you've told him over, and over, and over how you feel and don't feel. He's just trying to reel you in again and pretending he didn't hear you.
I HATE jail talk....it sounds so good, but they never follow through.
I told my ex that I DID still love him...we had a past, but I was no longer IN love with him and we would never be together again. I was lucky he let it go. I just found out, yesterday that he died a couple of weeks ago...in a crack house.
He couldn't/wouldn't stop using. He'd just recently gotten out of jail and during that time had sent ME a "jail talk" letter....making all kinds of promises.
I am broken-hearted, but am very grateful that I didn't allow myself to get sucked back in. I had no expectations and I made myself very clear on my feelings. He made his choices, and now he's gone.
You and I both know death is a possibility out there, using, but I guess I didn't really think it would happen. I absolutely don't regret my decision, though. I HAD to detach from him...I HAD to keep that distance. I was never mean to him, gave him moral support (but no money) and I only did that after a year or so with no contact. I know you have kids together, so that may not work for you. The only contact I DID have with him is when I'd find out he was in jail, I would write. I mostly talked about his mama (she died 2 years ago and I adored her) and about how well I was doing in recovery...hoping it would spark something in him....it didn't work.
I don't like to hurt anyone's feelings, either, but I've finally gotten to the point where I realize MY feelings matter, too, darn it!
I don't want you to think "OMG what if he died? I need to keep in contact"....it's because I DIDN'T keep in contact, other than the occasional letters, that I'm at peace, although grieving. I handed him over to HP a long time ago...I couldn't do anything for him.
Big hugs and prayers, sweetie!
Amy