after you have been reading here for a short while, you will find out there are many, many others who have the same brand of "stupidity" that you do. recognize, learn, make decisions, but be gentle with yourself.
my abf says: "we hate pain, we can't stand being in pain. the back injury is an excuse to use, but it's because he doesn't wanna be in pain" (someone else said something about withdrawals - i guess they're brutal)
there is no right or wrong when it comes to making decisions about staying in a relationship. sounds as if you've already made one.