I have read Codependent No More...perhaps maybe I should pick it up again!! Thank you for all you comments. And, I think you are right I want the fantasy that I make up in my head, not the reality of how things are. In truth...I do not believe he wants to come back...to be honest I have told him twice now, that if he willing stop drinking and no more name calling/cussing that we can give it one last try. I also stated that I would work on my own anger/behaviors (which I know are related to codependency). I am working on these regardless. The first time he asked me what I would do if he did those 2 things, and I said ask him to leave again - so he decided not to stay. Again, I told him this, and I do mean it, but again he left. I think maybe he believes I owe him an apology for asking him to leave....but I do not believe I owe him that, or an apology for my feelings right now. SO.....I am feeling like maybe this is just a power play and he wants me to beg...which I won't. As I think I've said here before, he and I get along well when not living together...truly...we always have been that way. Maybe we were just meant to be that way! Anyway, thanks and please continue to give ideas/support!