I am so angry and hurt. Is it wrong for me to want to leave him after all this time? Am I stupid for having stayed as long as I have?
I've felt the same way as you. I've been with my abf for nearly 10 years and I am having a hard time getting over feeling like I'm obligated to stay with him too. All the plans we've made together and the dreams of what our future would be... and now I'm going to just flush those things down the toilet? The fact of the matter is, that your abf is making bad choices right now and you leaving is a consequence. It's not wrong in the least for you to want to leave. We take on a lot of stress and worry and drama that nobody WANTS to live with and should not have to live with.
And NO, you are not stupid for staying as long as you have. If that's the case, then I'm stupider (if that's a word lol) than you are.
We all stay for as long as we stay for different reasons. I've stayed because I listened to his words for too long and ignored his actions. I stayed because I didn't understand the power of addiction.... and.... because I love him. We had big dreams for our future together and I had my eye on the prize...on the good life he told me we'd have. Whatever your reason for staying, it's not stupid. Please keep reading around here. I have learned so much just by reading everyone else's stories.