Lextex, I'm sorry to hear you are in such a spot. I'm an alcoholic with many years sober and I've known lots of alcoholics - both drunk and sober. I can tell you that your husband appears to be a very sick man. You have been given some very good advice already. Please do what you have to do for you, and don't allow him to make you feel guilty. Like Cynay said, "You did not cause it, you can not control it and you can not cure it." Whether he gets help or not, you can begin your recovery. You may want to check into AlAnon. I wish you all the best.