Great post Cessy. I agree, you are not seeing things through rose colored glasses anymore. This is a step forward in your recovery. (I could have written that post, as many of us probably could've about our addicted loved one.)
Also, love Cynicals post. My exAH said many of those same things to me. His addiction drove me to most of them. Insane and unhealthy, I was then, and I'm almost ashamed I treated him so bad, regardless of his actions. I didn't have any compassion then as I had battled this for years. I'm starting to find compassion again.
You're making progress, Cess. Keep working on you and the rest will fall in place!