I have been reading over Cess' post for a few days now. Wanting to say so many things but not really knowing how to say it without sounding too harsh or not understanding but still wanting to drive home the point that its NOT about Cess.
Thank you Cynical for what you wrote. Exactly what is running through my mind but unable to come out just quite right.
I have learned in my recovery that the same things I have tried to control in my RABF are the same things that are wrong in my own life. When those old thought patterns come up I reflect and turn it around on myself. I ask myself what am I missing in me that I can so easily find fault in others with whatever they are doing that I DONT APPROVE OF???
It is so true that when you finally hit your bottom and change your thinking that YOU yourself have played a role in this and that YOU yourself have work to do.....
And some will defend their stance and say "but their abusing DRUGS for crying out loud." But what we fail to realize is that this is their path, their way, their ability to live exactly as they see fit. It is not our job to try to redirect their paths, make them feel the pain we feel by looking at them with disappointment, becoming frustrated with their desicisons, and just plain angry cause they arent getting with the program.
The biggest lesson that I have learned in this journey is that a lesson learned is learned well when learned ALONE. The consequences of someones actions speak louder volumes then any loved one screaming at the top of their lungs that they are destroying themselves. You can apply that to ANY life situation.