I have a very dear friend that is a recovering crack addict. She had a great job, a husband, a home in '03 when she revealed to her closest circle of friends her addiction. Talk about shock! Us three girls (closest friends) watched her rise and fall over and over again. Crack addiction is horrendous. She blew through 10's of thousands of dollars - it's so hard to believe the money she spent. Today she believes it neared 100 grand! She lost more than one job, her husband and home and thanks to God is now on her feet again and trying her best to dig out of the hole she created. The issue is that while addicted, nothing on earth mattered to her at all besides the drug. It was so sad to watch! She not only let her husband down time and again, but she let us friends down too as we would help her at times in good faith and get burned. After her divorce she was clean nearly a year and we all supported her as much as we could. But she relapsed and sunk quick...as friends we finally had to withdraw from her. It was after all her resources were gone she started to really take her recovery seriously. Today she is 18 months clean with a long way to go.
The reason that I shared this is that you are right on to think of yourself and your kids (including his) first! Stay focused on you and the kids and try not to focus on him at all. Your lawyer is disgusting and needs to go. Fire him and suggest he go pro bono with soon to be ex, because that is what it will end up being. Active crack addicts have a very hard time keeping jobs. It might last a little while with the fire dept, but unless he gets serious with recovery forget it being anything long term.
****{Hugs}}} to you! This is all so very hard...I'm dealing with my own AH too.