Dear bs:
I know the feeling >>> my keyboard is acting up so pls bear with me>>
Block him from everything
Create a new FB with ppl that truly love you
Early alcoholics can make u mad because perhaps you are the first one that notice there is a problem
Others denial sucks but this helps you to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF> BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE > FOLLOW YOUR GUT > OBTAIN STRENGTH IN THE KNOWLEDGE YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THOSE OTHERS >> your sight is clear thus you are free from further hurt
NO CONTACT means
no fb
no calls
no emails
no letters
no asking about him
no listening about him
no songs that u heard with him or remind u of him
storing or trashing presents and stuff
deleting every email and picture from your computer
songs > even avoiding full GENRES! i started listening to jazz >>
to me it also meant taking away clothes and shoes i used while with him
no places or triggers for now
I learned this no contact thing is a process> a year later I am just starting to give away clothes he criticized or that trigger me so it does ot have to happen instantly
Lately I also want to look at his fb but for what? I dont deserve more pain>
Alcoholism is all about appeareances> drinking so you bond with humans and you are closer and everything seems fun and exciting but its not real> appearance about being in control when in reality someone is being controlled by the alcohol >appearance of regret and apologies when in reality its nothing but manipulation
You were closer to him than any coworker or friend so you know better > in time as the disease progresses the healthier ppl will leave or be left out and only fellow drinkers will be part of his circle
ANY contact is guaranteed pain and only you know when its enough>>>
Well I know how it feels like and it gets much much better> you had nothing to do with his disease
Also remember they cant survive alone> they need someone else > a sponge to absorb their pain > a doormat to step over when they feel insecure > a fellow drinker that will hide their alcoholism > a distraction to avoid uneasy feelings far away from the happiness illusion they desperately seek < a sex toy < a maid to clean up after a particulary bad night < a driver to get them places when they cant even stand up
None of that is love and one day you will realize you are blessed to be saved from the sinking ship
It hurts like hell but you will come out from this stronger !!