((Cessy))
I'm sorry, but I'm not surprised. I hurt for you, because I've been there.
Sweetie, he's not going to do anything as long as he doesn't have to. He's got it made...do what he wants to do and come home to you. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but I'm looking at it from an A's point of view.
I would have LOVED to be able to have a home to come home to and still used. I had to be on the streets, with now XABF as we spent every last dime on crack. If someone had let me come to a home and keep using, you darned right, I'd have kept doing it! It's what we A's DO!
It's not something we do TO you...it's really not. In all honesty, it has nothing to DO with you. We are so self-absorbed, searching that almighty high, that escape from reality, that we can think of nothing or anyone else.
It's not something we can just quit and be done with. I will have 3 years clean in March, and it's been a process for me to get clean. Sure, I put the crack pipe down at one time and never picked it up again, but my mind? That's a whole different story. I had a lot of codie issues intertwined with my addiction and until I addressed THAT, my recovery didn't even BEGIN!! I am JUST NOW to a point where I am feeling good about my life, and that's despite being broke as he!!, facing job hassles and other things....3 years, sweetie! I don't know if he has codie issues, but more than likely, he has issues that go along with his addiction he needs to work on!
I'm telling you this because I don't want to see you like me...waiting 20+ years, like I did with the first XABF, thinking it would get better. IT didn't get better.
At some point, your peace of mind has to come before everything else. I'm am facing losing my job and insurance because of a lawsuit I have against workmen's comp for not addressing the PTSD I have due to the robbery I went through over a year ago. Ya know what? I FINALLY, after over a year, let it go. I'm TIRED of stressing, I'm TIRED of worrying about what's going to happen. I KNOW I'm doing the right thing and that there is a plan and that things will work out...they always have, though I couldn't see it until hindsight.
At some point, I "got" that life is too short. I can live my life, hoping that someone else will change and make me happy, or I can take that leap and find happiness in myself. I may have to go through a period of being really uncomfortable (and I have, believe me, I have!), but I got through it. It looks like I will go through a period of unemployment, or searching desperately for a job!
If a dr. were to tell you that you had 6 months to live tomorrow, would this be how you want to spend the last 6 months of your life? Again, I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm really not...I just hurt for you and I don't want you to repeat MY past.
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy