cessy68

While my abf was walking out the door this morning..... I stared at him. I know he is doing pills again. I thought about things for two hours, and wrote this down. Just had to get it out. I wonder how many of us can relate to this kind of feeling. Here it goes, "What I see"



I see you, the one who is selfish and self absorbed, doing all the taking and none of the giving.

I see you, bringing tears to my eyes, rather than joy to my heart.

I see you, critical of others; failing to see that it is yourself that needs the fixing.

I see you, sarcastic and quick tongued, rather than funny and lighthearted.

I see you, procrastinating, then blaming others when your day gets filled with obligations that should have been handled long before today.

I see you expecting, demanding, and operating under a sense of entitlement, while refusing to do for anyone other than yourself.

I see you, complaining instead of praising.

I see you, tired and worn out; letting life pass you by, rather than being the life of the party.

I see you, as an enemy, who attempts to manipulate my truth, as opposed to my friend who used to respect my feelings.

I see you, the liar; who stares into my eyes and speaks falsities, believing that you are fooling me, when you are actually only fooling yourself.

I see you, a person who preys on my vulnerabilities, rather than cherishing my open, loving heart.

I see you, empty behind your eyes; expecting everything, and everyone to fill your void, instead of taking responsibility for your own despair.

I see you, assuming no accountability for your actions, yet holding those around you to a standard that is never good enough for you.

I see you, ripping away peoples self-esteem, in a futile attempt to build yourself up,- to deflect from your own mistakes, to suture your own inadequacies.

I see a man who I don’t recognize. I see a man that looks like you, only different. I wish you could see what I see, but you don’t. I see what you have become, rather than what you used to be, or could be. I see you, I won’t lie to myself anymore. I see you, and what addiction has brought you to. I know I didn’t cause this, I know I can’t control this, I know I can’t cure this. I know I CAN see this. I will choose to see reality rather than what used to be.