I Failed Again
Last week I was determined to stop drinking and I have failed. I had this novel idea that being sober was going to allow me to be happy and have energy to play with my kids. Instead I had panic attacks and was nearly climbing the walls. All I could do was lie on the couch and fight the urge to fall asleep. I was a cranky, miserable person to be around. It was such hell that I decided anything, even being drunk, would be a better alternative. I got some beer and couldn't stop drinking, it was all I could do to feel like me again.
I don't understand it...I always thought of heavy drinkers as dysfunctional people, yet I am seemingly more dysfunctional when I DON'T drink.
I really need to quit and I just don't think I can.