Originally Posted by
dragonheart 
...I have been going to the meetings a couple times a week for the past year but have never shared my problems with them,I don't know if i am scared to talk about it or embarresed,either way i need to.In every meeting they always say the newcommer is the most important person in the room but no one has came up to me and talk to me,instead i feel like a lot of people are looking at me because i haven't shared yet.I am a hard headed person and set in my ways but i truly need some help.
Hi Dragonheart, welcome to the NA forum.
I think it's great that you are attending meetings and have a desire to stop using, but NA cannot help you if you don't allow it to. Just like you have heard members share how the newcomer is most important, we also share that a
"closed mouth cannot be fed" and we can only carry the message to those who are willing to receive it. If you don't speak up and ask for help, I think it may be hard for others to know you're a newcomer that needs it.
It is also suggested that newcomers attend 90 meetings in 90 days. This allows the newcomer to become familiar with the fellowship and the program. We get to know you...you get to know us. This also assists you in changing the people, places and things directly associated with your using. During those 90 days and 90 meetings you'll probably find a meeting where you'll feel more comfortable with the people there and the environment. This meeting can become your "home group" and choosing a home group is another of the suggestions we follow in this process we call recovery.
For me, one of the most important suggestions I had to follow was choosing a sponsor and getting involved in step work. NA is a 12 step program and the steps provide us with a solution to our ultimate problem (ourselves). Going to meetings is great, but recovery is an "inside job" and I couldn't do the work needed to change just by sitting in meetings listening to others share. Recovery doesn't just rub off of others and we "get it"...we have to play an active part in getting better. They told me that if I wanted what they had, I had to do what they did. Simple as that.
My experience was that I couldn't stop on sheer will-power. I needed help. Tapering didn't work for me and NA isn't about that. I had to go to detox and rehab, and it was after I got clean that I found recovery in NA. The first thing I had to do was stop using. The program doesn't work until then. Believe me, I've tried many different things (for many years) but the only thing that worked is NA.
G