Keep pedalling,
I'm a recovered alcoholic. I've remained that way by living by the spiritual principles I learned in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I stay connected to those principles by intensive work with other alcoholics. At times, it seems like my only purpose in life, the one place where I can be uniquely useful to another human being, is in helping a still suffering alcoholic get and stay sober by doing exactly what I had to do. My point is, that I am well qualified to help another person get sober, and I have a fair amount of experience with it.
But I know there is nothing I can do to keep someone else from drinking.
I talked to a guy Thursday. He was in a great mood, jovial, had a plan for staying sober. Things were looking up for him. On top of the world for the first time in a long time. After getting off the phone, I asked another recovered alkie how long they thought C was going to make it. She guessed he'd be drunk by Friday. I was optimistic and guessed Saturday. We both sold him short and he didn't drink until Sunday, when he called me drunk.
What's the lesson here? I know full well that this guy is going to be drunk within a few days after talking to him. I have the tools that will allow him to recover just like I did. And I also know there isn't a damn thing I could have done to keep him from drinking.
Even without co-dependant issues, it's wise to know that you can not control somebody else's drinking. With the codie issues, that kind of thinking can be miserable.