day 8 & still sober...just
but my life has been turned upside down again
yesterday, the girl i was talking about in my last post (moving in together etc) was encouraging me to go to an AA meeting. i very stupidly (and this has been a problem for me) lied to her and made up that my sister was coming to visit to get out of going to the meeting. i then rethought the situation and went to the meeting anyway (as i do want to get sober) at the meeting, the deception that comes hand in hand with alcoholism was discussed and i decided that i wanted to do some 'housecleaning' and fess up to this girl about the lie. thinking she would be upset but glad i was working the progam and really trying to move forward spiritually not just staying sober...i was so wrong. she has freaked out and told me she doesnt want me to move in & doesnt want to be with me anymore. shes angry and hurt and doesnt want to talk to me.
so now im left with my flatmates who dont really want me around due to last weeks drinking & ive just been dumped by a girl really wanted to be with.
im angry and upset as well...at lfe i guess. but if i think hard enough, perhaps this is good. my honesty cant be a bad thing...and i guess i need to expect consequences for telling the truth...but it hurts like hell to be surrounded by people who dont want you around. because they are scared of what you might do if you drink and dont trust you cos you confessed to lying to them.
cravings to drink today are unsurprisingly strong...i wll try get to a meeting
its good to see other people are dong well, gives me hope.
nd