This has changed my life. And these last few weeks, I have allowed the codie in me to come out full blast. I will get back to letting go and letting God. But for now, it is helping me vent my anger and frustrations....and fear.
I have been online every day defending him against the haters. The ones that feel an addict's life is not a loss. There is just so much hate out there. I figure it's OK to fight Brett's fight right now. But it is consuming me.
Every time I see a gas can, I think, that's what a human life is worth to people, that dirty nasty can. I look at the "things" that I own, and I really don't care any more if I loose them, they aren't important.
Life is important, people are important, even our enemy's are important, the haters that don't understand addiction, they too are important.
So once again, I'm having to step back and learn to let go. But before I can do that, I have to learn to let go of my own hate, my own judgements. I didn't realize how much of it I still had in me.
B