I've been told before that for a healthy relationship to develop, that each person needs to individually be at 100%, meaning, you have taken the time to develop yourself into the person you want to be, and you work to fulfill your own needs and feel whole. Then when you join a relationship, then what you get is more than 100%. Meaning the extra that you get from the other person is gravy.
If any one person comes in at less than 100%, then they search to fill the rest of themselves through their significant other. And that's very depleting to that person, and truthfully even though you try to get that from them, it never really works because you really have to get it from yourself. Does that make sense?
You sound like you need something - affection, validation, from him. You must really find that for yourself, within yourself. You can't 'force' him to give it. If he ever does give it, it should be freely and willingly, and simply a bonus for you, not a necessity.
Especially when you say the long list you've made about what you've done for him and he's not returning it. Is it a competition? If you give of yourself it shouldn't be because you expect something back. It is because you wanted to give it. As soon as you tie your behaviours to an expectation and then that expectation isn't filled, you set yourself up to feel unvalidated, unloved, emotionally depleted.
My used to be this way with my bf, and he knew it and took every advantage. We were very young and I was naive which didn't help. I'd get angry and hang up the phone for example. Then I'd feel bad, and I'd call him back. And he knew it, so would wait smugly for that call to come. He used me against myself, he barely had to lift a finger to control me!
Take your power back. Your example of the morning email. Instead of 'that's it?" it should be 'thank you'. It was a nice comment and you acknowledge it. But you're looking for more where more is unlikely to come. Work on yourself, find that acknowledgment from within. You will find that once you start on that path, it won't be so crucial to get it from others. It's being self-reliant to get your needs met. Start filling your 100% - you can control this, and unfortunately you can never control others. So you will spin your wheels forever trying. Spin your own wheels instead, your car will actually start driving forward.