In A Funk
Hubby says he is going to chemical dependent's anonymous, celebrate recovery and got plugged into a church. For those of you who don't know, we are 3000 miles apart due to his addiction. It has been almost 3 weeks.
Talked to hubby again today. He said that he wanted me to know that he will not take pills again, I will see a radical change and that he wants me to come home with him. He wants me to come home because I am his wife, he loves me more than anything and because I belong there with my husband. He said that we need to go to Christian marriage counseling and it's not possible from afar. As hard as it was to say no, I did. I told him that neither of us can offer any good to each other right now and individual counseling needs to take place before anything. Tears swelled in his voice but his grip on a bit of sobriety allowed him to agree with me when I said it's not in God's timing yet.
Why do I feel like I'm in such a funk even when my husband seems to be getting help? He actually tried to console me today and I felt unworthy of it. Felt like he shouldn't be since he is trying to work on himself, that it would be too much work for him The holidays are really hard. Our one year anniversary is in February. This would be our first holiday together as a married couple. I know that's silly because we have a lifetime of those but I'm still feeling depressed about it...I'm so lonely...
How do I know when is time to go home?