Originally Posted by
BrixtonBear 
Just to answer your question briefly, the cravings seem to build up throughout the day like a storm, wherever I am. If I give in, I always end up drinking alone.
Thanks for answering Brixton, I figured since I asked the question I should at least attempt to share my experience with it. First off I think that you gave a great answer. There are many ways to look at it, I'm no expert but the focuse here is not on the alcohol, it's on the storm that proceeds the first drink. I know that sounds simple, for me breaking things down to there simplest form gives me a chance at not being overwhelmed by them. So....tackling the storm.
We alcoholics often make the mistake of jumping from one end to the other. We obssess over our drinking when we are active in our alcoholism, for me most of my thoughts were about the next drink. Then when we deside to stop we jump to the other end. Our focus is on not drinking to the extent that we are "fighting" it. The point is in both cases our focus and energy is on alcohol, drinking or not.
Check out what Carol did:
Originally Posted by
CarolD Something I found useful in early sobriety ...I spiffed up my outside.
I cleaned up my apartment...and de-cluttered ..getting rid of drinking
reminders. I got a hair cut and color..gave myself regular manicures.
Daily I wore scent...make up...jewelry and bright colors.
Well....Hollywood did not call...but I sure felt fantastic!
She didn't mention alcohol.
After step one when we admit our problem with alcohol the other 11 steps don't say anything about alcohol either. I'm not pushing AA on you I'm just saying we first turn to recovery because we need help with our out of control drinking but recovery is about more then aclohol. That faster we can get out the problem of alcohol and into the solution that has nothing to do with alcohol the sooner the obssesion and cravings leave us because we begin dealing with the real problem. For me, alcohol was actually my self medicating solution to the real problem that then became a problem itself. It wasn't orginally about alcohol for me.
You mention some people from your church are helping you to Love yourself....
I believed the lie that I was unlovable because I measured myself against my twisted perception of others. My twisted perception of reality is where my real insanity exists. My sponsor told me on day one to forget everything I know and to forget everything I think I know. Well after not having a clue of what the idiot was talking about I of course couldn't forget much of anything but I have learned to see through what I thought I knew....perception. My recovery is my percption changing from unhealthy beliefs to a healthy understanding of truth. For starters the thought that any of us are unlovable is absolute insane BS.....even though many of us have beleived it for much of our lives.
Oh....thanks for permision to ramble Hideorseek but I really don't know where I'm going or how to end what I'm saying so.....
End of post.