Hiya bookwyrm, i will look up those books thanks. Was a good post to wake up to.
And thank you for that post, it was interesting. And very true, if you can't accept the person you're with then you gotta think that they might never change. I know.
I do accept him how he is, have done for years, he does make me happy. To be honest i don't know if its a depression prob with him or what, i know he does like a beer or two, and did used to use alcohol to forget the past, but he doesnt touch the harder stuff no more, i would know.
I do think that counselling would help us both, not together though i know. But is the doctors the only place that you can get free counselling help from.
Last night he came in and had a coffee, then nothing for a bit then just had one beer before bed. And in the past few days he's had a lot of stress at work, so he could have easily have come home and raided my parents alcohol cupboard but he never touches that.
I'm just so confused at the moment. The main things in our relationship are not his few beers drinking for me. Its the fact he wont talk to me, finds it hard to as i know some people do. The lack of desire to have intimacy with me, i know when someone is feeling depressed that can lower or make that nothing. I know that if you're not happy inside with yourself then you can't make someone else happy. He has to heal those past hurts before he can focus on us i know. Affection, he's not a really touchy feely person and to be honest im not with anyone but him, he does try though and i love him so much.
I'm not being a sap here before anyone comes along and calls me deluded, im more than aware what real life is, what alcohol can do, my uncle died of it and i saw what he was like all the time. And if i thought for one minute - as i have told him - that he was going that way, of being a drunk that didnt care about anything then i'd leave, and he knows i mean it too, im not about to put up with that. But he's not drunk any of the time, he just seems very down.
Just so confused right now.