Looking back it is amazing to me how many times I RAN to my brothers's aid when they called for help. How MANY heart to hearts we had (drunk, sober but not recovered, hungover) where I would leave feeling drained but somehow hopeful that maybe this was the day they would begin to change. Oh, the tears, and the sad, moving spilling of vulnerabilities and troubles! How many dramatic declarations of intention to quit, intention to get help, intention to change, did I witness?
I really got sucked in time and time again. And again. AND AGAIN!!
Thank heavens AlAnon finally got me to step back and see this for the ludicrous and enabling situation it really was. If my brothers honestly wanted help they would not have been dialing my number.
Eventually I had the courage to hand them the numbers to local AA and say "I sure hope you use this soon!" I think if I hadn't really worked the program of AlAnon I would still be on the hope-and-expectation-followed-by-the-crushing-blow-of miserable-continuation roller coaster!
Giving them that piece of paper with the helpful tel. number on it really was a huge step for me - it released me...and I never have to say it again.
They are adults. They know where/how to get help with alcoholism.
peace-
b