Recovered1

I posted this over in friends and family, then decided I might leave it up to those of us who do this addiction thing ourselves. I figure some of you might be in a better position to help me with this than people over in friends and family who are always left wondering...is this a lie, is this the truth? After all, we know the lies we tell. Well, as a person with the addiction myself, this is the FIRST time I've ever had to wonder just what I am dealing with and I would appreciate feedback. I am stuggling with my own addiction and am considering detaching from my friend for my own sake. She needs people in her life who are strong and can help her. I am not strong now and barely keeping my own head above water. If you would please bear with me....(I hope I have not violated any rules by posting this there and here!)

As I posted...

Firstly, I have my own drinking problem, as I call it. I've done the detox deal and rehab and weaned myself off of alcohol so I am no stranger to the whole process.

My friend, who also has her own problem (7 DUIs, has coded in the past, been homeless etc) just broke her leg last weekend drinking. She tells me the medication they were giving her in the hospital wasn't detoxing her so they gave her a choice of beer or Ativan. Ok, that's a new one on me. They discharged her with instructions to go home and drink weaning down until she can get into a program. That's another first. I thought most of the time they send someone to detox to be professionally detoxed? I mean, sitting at home drinking even if someone else is monitoring use around the clock? Not checking any vitals? Would a Dr. actually tell someone to do this? Too, when I spoke with her she said she'd call on programs to see what was available. Wouldn't she have to have some sort of more firm plan than this for a Dr. to tell her to go home and wean herself down?!

She made the comment the other day she'd have no way to drink once discharged. I think she has found a way. She has a friend with her giving her alcohol every couple of hours or so. She is taking a low level dose of Ativan along with alcohol at home. I told her she could have been sent home with some valium and she said that valium would decrease her oxygen levels so this is why she has to drink instead of take valium. She has an appt with a pulmonoligist on the 9th. I reminded her they sent her home with inhalers. This whole thing makes no sense to me and I, TOO, an an addict. I am torn between just completely detaching for my own sake and yet supporting her. Too, there are all these crazy triangulated relationships going on. Her roommate called her mom last night to tell her mom she is still drinking and her mom became hysterical. Now my friend says she'll have her friend call her mom and explain everything. I just said have your Dr. call your mom (believing the whole time I am being bamboozled).

Can anyone help me understand this? I know we tell lies. But not THESE kind of lies. Not the kind of lies that cause people to become nursemaids to perpetuate our drinking. I am sorry, it would be detox city for me if I were her. Either that, or I'd simply take the valiums and/or Ativan to get off the crap.

I want to be there to support her, but I don't want to her in my life if she is just lying to me and putting herself at greater risk. I'm having my own battle right now stopping drinking myself. How could a Dr. possibly recommend she drink? Am I crazy for thinking about this? I mean, this whole thing has shown me my codependency, yes, but I want to make sure I stay or leave based on something resembling the truth. Just looking for someone to shed some light on "SANITY" for me in this whole matter. We do the deal so we should know best? Aren't I supposed to know all of this stuff? I mean, I now find myself on the other side of the fence and it's perplexing to me. Sorry for the length of this post. Thanks.