I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your comments. This is so ridiculously hard for me to deal with. I keep running so many crazy thoughts in my head like 'maybe he'll get better and we can be together' and just thinking about what is going on with him right now if he's ok, did he tell his family? is he getting help? I even thought to myself 'why hasn't he tried to talk to me' though I told him not and though I know that is probably the worst thing that could happen at this moment of such vulnerability and pain. I am 26 and was married young to my high school sweetheart who lied to me constantly and who cheated. I thought that my next relationship could never be worse than the abuse that I dealt with when I was with him and now it's like 'whoa' I did it again. I found myself someone who lied to me, has devastated me emotionally, and who "cheated" on me with drugs. I am not in therapy yet but I will be as soon as I get some insurance related problems taken care of. I am happy that I found this site because it is almost shocking to see others going through similar situations and emotions that I am now. What is most inspiring is that there are so many of you staying strong, sticking to your guns, and trying your best not to let their addictions get the best of you. Thank you again for everything. Today is the first day of the rest of my life and I will get past this, I just gotta be strong.