There is a member that posts in Friends and Families of Substance Abusers and one of the things she always says in her replies is "What would you tell a friend to do if they came to you with your story?"
Really, step out of it and think of it as one of your friends coming to you saying her bf is verbally and physically abusive to her, the father of the bf is relying of her to take care of him, all the while she is trying to be a Mom to the bf's siblings. Would it sound like a situation that could work? For anyone involved? Would you seriously tell a friend to stay in that situation and keep trying? I don't think so . . .
Of course the younger siblings are going to want you to stay - their life is so messed up and you are the only one attempting to make it "normal". But it doesn't sound like you have a snowballs chance in he!! of pulling it off - not with the father and bf working against you. Are there any other family or friends that the younger siblings could go stay with. I see on tv all the time of families that have taken in their kids friends and these kids go on to become mature, responsible individuals.
You are the only person that can take care of you. Are you ready to start doing that?
Yes, your bf had a tough life, but as long as he has you around to sympathize with him, take care of him (and his family) and pick up the pieces of his broken life, he doesn't have to do anything different. Just like my son - as long as I'm enabling him he doesn't have to change - but if I'm willing to step out of the way and let him be responsible for his life, he either spirals down into addiction or decides to take charge of his life and seek recovery. I can't make him, I can't do it for him and it isn't my fault.
Sorry this is so long
