powerless
I really don't feel like explaining the whole story, but I don't know any other way to do it. He is right behind me, sleeping and I hope the typing doesn't wake him....
I'm gonna make this as short as possible, just to avoid him waking up..
My boyfriend has had a really messed up life. His dad is an ex junkie, who suffers from hepatitis and deminta now, and is Mom is an alcoholic. He has 3 younger siblings, that he has had to take care of since he was 12. His dad was in the Navy and his Mom would go out drinking and come home late at night with different men...
He had to be the one to discipline the kids, feed them, bathe them...etc pretty much he took on the role of being both parents, while his dad was out at sea. 12 year old kids don't know how to take care of things, so somehow someone knew what was going on and left an anonymous tip to child services. They came by the house to see what was going on and the house was filfly. They got taken away right then and there...
So to make a long story short...his mom let them go, while his dad fought for custody. By the time he won custody, my bf was already living on his own, but the other children went to go live with him in a run down single wide trailer. (run down because it was missing pieces of the floor and the fridge was broken, there was no shower head...etc)
So meanwhile Cory has no idea what is going on. He is living a pretty normal life for an 18 year old. We meet through a mutual friend fall in love and start living together...
A year goes by and we see Cory's dad downtown with a women. He hadn't seen or heard from his dad in a couple years. We get his address and go over to his house....it was a mess....
So we decide we can't live with our friends and party anymore...we have to take action...remember we are only 18 &19 at the time...we were still kids...
So we try to sustain a normal life for the children...meanwhile Cory is turning into a HUGE alcoholic who can be abusive at times...he's says its the stress..so i believe him...
Fast forward 3 years to the present day....we are living in a bigger home, the oldest kid is doing great in school, but the younger two have a really hard time listening to Cory. Cory's dad lives in the backyard in a camper and he lives off unemployment checks...so Cory has to be the dad...and they don't like that at all..meanwhile im busting my *** cleaning up after them and making sure his dad is going to his doctors appts (there are ALOT) and going to school full time, all at the same moment!
Cory has become an alcoholic. He is definitely verbally abusive and can be physically when things get really bad. Like two nights ago, he was so stressed out because he cant have a normal life. He was forced to be a father at such a young age. His dad is ALWAYS the trigger. He'll come walking in, all ****** up on meds and ask for money (we don't have any) so he gets pissed off at cory...even though WE are the ones taking care of everything!! So he took everything out on me last night. I didn't say a thing, I was just sitting there listening to music and he pours a beer on me. It turns to pushing and shoving, then hair pulling and eventually he bit my face...he went on a drinking binge downtown and slept amongst the homeless....I went to my mom's house for the 100 millionth time. My dad is done with me, and my mom is about there. They don't believe in me anymore...they don't understand why I keep coming back...
I came back this morning. He was asleep and the youngest boy was getting ready for school. He looked up at me and asked me if I was leaving. I said I wasn't sure and then he asked me not too...i seriously broke down...i have been these children's mother for 4 years!! Cory has been the father...I dont know how to leave...if i left, the bills wouldnt get paid, theyd be living in trash...i know this for a fact...it's happened before..
Now I dont know what to tell my mom...i don't want her pissed off at me, but i dont think i'm ready to leave him...what do i tell her...it's happened so much
We are still so young and I feel like I'm wasting my youth away taking care of this family, and my bf is treating me this way. I've left before, but he reeled me back in...it's so hard to leave...because I feel like he has a legitimate reason to drink and be angry
I'm so confused and I don't know what to do....