There seems to be a bit of momentum building with some old posters popping in and talk of the purple bus again.
As for me. I got through my first day of work ok but still incredibly anxious about what I did but can't remember. I do remember that I could have died. I was on my way back and was walking through a shopping mall car park. I fell and couldn't for the life of me get back up. My wife wouldn't answer her phone, despite me calling her numerous times. She was apparently sound asleep. It was freezing and I almost gave up on trying to get up and almost decided to go to sleep. I was probably half asleep when I managed to hoist my sloshed body up. Terrifying really.
Today I went to the gym. I really didn't have the will to but had a decent workout and it has improved my mental state. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have lost my anxiety.
I've been reading BDiddy's posts with interest recently. God is so important and helpful to him. In my despair I have been praying over the last few days, making pacts with the big fella in the hope he'll have time to agree to them. I was raised catholic and was a regular church-goer until I was about 19. I've lapsed badly since then but it is something which has left a gap in my life. Not living in a Christian country, nor a particularily religious country I do have a bit of a problem filling this gap. Being soothed spiritually is something I feel might help me. It's an avenue that I'm going to investigate further in the coming weeks and months.
I'm also going to start counting again, as I believed it helped me. Today is day 3.
Take care.