I have only been sober for 12 days now...I had 17 days before but I drank and then started over. I can tell you that life is 100% better sober. Go to AA you'll find people EXACTLY like you. It will take some time but you will change for the better. try it what do you have to loose? You already have such great insight about your drinking...take a leap of faith you owe it to yourself...it works!
Jo