Although it's not Thanksgiving here is Canada, I'm spending the day going through my Christmas decorations, keeping my furbaby on the straight and narrow (that means away from the neighbourhood cats...LOL) and in general, doing things for me. The sun is shining - a perfect day for a dog walk and to enjoy...life.
Bucyn says:You are not the trigger. Or the problem. The person who uses others for vacation, has no appreciation, and who lies and stabs his 'loved ones' in the back...they are the problem.
That's the bottom line. That's what it's all about. I remind myself of that so many times throughout the day when those feelings of missing him intrude in my mind and I weaken to contact him.
It's not easy - the urge to pick up the phone is overwhelming at times but then, I ask myself what do I miss? The emotional abuse and blame sent my way when he is drinking? The arguing? the rapid fire calls and emails when he is drinking? The blame? The denial? The begging and remorse after the binge is finished and he is detoxing? The lies and the broken promises that this will be the last time? My dashed hopes and anger and resentment that things didn't change? My loss of self respect when a boundary I set for myself was moved further back?
What I really missed all through my relationship with XABF was normalcy - day to day things, peace, serenity, happiness and in order to bring those things back into my life, I walked away from chaos of things the way they were.
Yes, the feelings of loneliness creep in but as each day passes, I'm one step further removed from the person and the things I thought I missed and one step closer to the things I really missed.
Hugs coming your way from me and my furbaby!!!!!!