TB-----
It does seem that things don't follow an easy route for you....
But, and I mean this with all the care and concern I can muster...I wish you would
give things more time. When I had strung together several years of sobriety, it was
a good year or two before I was convinced I could live without a drink. Things didn't
get better right away...there was no pink cloud. I faced some of the hardest times in my life, and that was all areas of my life., I kid you not. I remember thinking, d*mn...if this is
the way I am going to live the rest of my life., I am not sure this sobriety thing is worth it.
Take things in baby steps...all things won't be better tomorrow.,, but, one thing might,
like your roomate situation. Some of the other things you deal with are a consequence of your drinking., and will take some time to work thru.
You are such a smart, bright young lady that has the rest of her life ahead of her.
AA works for me right now. I think though, it is because I went in with the notion that it was going to work. I don't focus on what I don't get at a meeting, or who I don't connect with, I focus on what I do get...who I do connect with. Others socialize more then I, but, thats ok...I am where I am right now...and that is not permanent. Accepting what I can change, and focusing on that, makes all the difference. I don't awfulize who doesn't call me, or if someone doesn't answer me. I take it one baby step at a time.
You are sober today...how wonderful is that!!!!!!!!!!You are in college, you have a roof over your head,( not homeless), have no physical limitations (as in no missing limbs, etc), you aren't in jail, you have a computer and internet access and many people that care about you. Some people don't even have one of those things..yet, they are happy, and find a way to relish that.
Don't mean to sound, (as my children would say) that I am giving you a Sunday School lesson on acceptance and gratitude...but, it is the only way, I can stay in the present, looking up, rather then looking behind me, or looking down on this journey....
Peace.