The only bit of criticism I may have is the part about your son. Are you saying that because you stay with this man, you have had to give up custody and/or visitation rights with your son? Because that seems like an awfully high price to pay for the kind of relationship you're currently experiencing with this man. I think you truly know that your relationship is not a good one, and from what you've said, it's not and it's bound to get worse. If your bf does not begin to recover from his alcoholism, it WILL get worse. Sorry if that sounds negative, but everyone around here can tell you, it's the truth. Now here's the OTHER bad news--nothing, and I do mean nothing, that YOU do will change HIS behavior. So, the only option you have is to begin to seek recovery for yourself, and that way, if things don't change, you may gain the strength to leave. Listen to the wisdom of the women and men around here--they truly mean to help, and have walked in your shoes. I will also say that I am very sorry that you find yourself in this situation--it is terrible, and it does hurt. I am sorry for your pain.