If you're a codie, raise your hand
My hand's WAY up.
First off, welcome to SR! I'm very glad you're here. The people you will find here are awesome and truly supportive. This place and its "inhabitants" are what helped me leave my alcoholic husband.
Second, I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult experience.
Third, when it comes to dealing with someone's addiction, remember the 3 C's:
You didn't cause it.
You can't cure it.
You can't control it.
Fourth, your list seems to focus almost totally on HIM and what he does/says. Turn that focus around on YOU: how are you? what are you feeling? what makes you happy?
Again, I'm glad you've found this place. Keep posting!