Thanks everyone for the support! I didn't even cry like I thought I would. I had to listen to rap music on the way there to keep me from getting wishy washy. hahaha.
The lawyer was pretty good, but I mean I was paying like $5 per sentence he spoke so I figured he should be.
I got a handle on all the immigration stuff, he painted a slightly less bleak picture than I imagined.. I mean basically AH would have to be below the poverty line in order for us to be liable to him financially, and even if we were we'd only be liable to keep him at the poverty line, and I'm sure he'd want more than that with his fancy tastes.
As far as debt goes, anything that was opened in my name even if he was an auth user on the account, is MY problem. I thought debts would be split but what they said is it isn't divided UNLESS it was used to purchase property. A lot of our debt was balance transfers and loans so we could live or start his business. So.. I'm screwed! AND SO PISSED ABOUT THAT! I'm stuck with all of it, plus the tens of thousands y parents loaned him to start his business, since there was no documentation on that, it's probably considered a 'gift' and nothing can be done.
As far as our house goes, if he won't leave and I won't leave the only other option is to force the sale of it through a court order which could result in us going to short sale or foreclosure which is a pretty unfortunate way to end things. I'm really not looking forward to this.
In the meantime AH has not paid a single bill still and has informed me he will be buying a new / used car this weekend so I will need to sign off on the title of his car (it's in my name). I asked th lawyer if i should do this, and he said, well since the loan is upside down and you owe more than the car is worth and it's in your name, it's more of a liability than an asset, so I'd sign off on it. Unfortunately this means he's using his paycheck to buy a car instead of pay any bills.
I will probably sign off though, because I'd rather not have to ALSO pay his car loan. He threatened that if I didn't sign off he'd just buy a car anyway and it'd still be my problem!!! what a jerk!!!
I asked him to pay his portion of the bills and just keep it civil because it's in both our best interests to not have this go to court. I called some companies we had joint accounts with (cell, insurance) and sent him the info on how to split them, plus wrote what we needed to each pay for this months bills. He wrote back "thanks for the threats."
I am just so confused as to what to do now.. I mean, keep paying ALL the bills myself?? I still don't understand how I can make him pay his share, I didn't get a good grip on that.. I guess w/o a court order or separation agreement I can't make him do anything. And from what i Know a sep. agreement does not address real property, so our house which is the biggest monthly payment of all is not addressed.
I asked my H to please buy some more dog food and buy his own groceries seeing as I just spent $150 on food and household products this weekend and he's chipped in for nothing. He called me a petty b*tch and told me to shove it. WHAT??? I mean.. REALLY?? I knew he was nuts but this is beyond what I expected. How can a person feel so justified in paying for NOTHING, but using EVERYTHING.
I'm so disgusted that I married this POS.
GRR.
One step forwards, one step backwards. Can't wait to spend the weekend with family though!!