As ((Crackquack)) said, you've got to want NOT to be a crackhead bad enough to quit. I understand living with an active alcholic is stressful and you're used to dealing with stess by hitting the pipe.
However, you CAN learn to deal with stress in other ways. You can divorce her, as you mentioned. Any chance you can physically separate from her for now? I live with a stepmom who is addicted to pain pills, xanax and anything that will knock her out. I take seroquel for sleep (I have PTSD from a traumatic robbery at work last year, and it's the only thing that will help me sleep) - she is constantly begging me for those. My 16-year-old niece, who we are raising, finally stopped smoking weed when she got a job, but she still likes to drink and every single member of her family has addiction issues (her mom was my stepsister, killed in a wreck when niece was one). My dad has major anger issues. I'm living at home, at the age of 48 because I totally screwed up a nursing career and my finances due to crack. I wait tables for 3.13/hr plus tips and am getting broker and broker.
Any one of these things could easily lead me back to crack. I've been to jail more than once. I am fortunate that I was arrested as a first offender, so have no felony.
I'm only saying this to point out that I want to NOT SMOKE CRACK no matter what. I depend on SR, several people here have become very good friends and one is my best friend - I e-mail her all throughout the day. I also have a few f2f friends/family that I can call when I'm at my wit's end.
I'm tired of dealing with the consequences I brought on myself, and have decided that the actions I take today will only bring me GOOD consequences in the future.
In the end of my using, I hated myself every time I did it. The high just wasn't worth it. Sure, it makes you forget the misery in your life for a short while, but as soon as the high wears off, you're right back where you started AND you've got to deal with the lousy feelings of the fact that just just surrended to the crack demon again.
I've got over 2-1/2 years clean and, even with all the stuff I'm going through, I am WAY happier than my best days of smoking that ****. I'd become a person I never thought I'd be and I don't ever want to go back there.
It's up to you. You can learn how to deal with your life, without crack, but you've got to want it bad enough.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy