I completely know what you mean. Last night, I was hanging out with my family. Live in a nice house, nice neighborhood, my spouse is a professor, I was a frickin teacher and children's librarian a few years ago..and I just put my head in my hands and said "how'd I become a frickin' junkie?"
I think I need to write my story out, for my own sake, like you did here...and try to connect the dots...because I think it'll help me see some patterns and choices that I need to be aware of now that I am a recovering junkie (as opposed to a frickin' one)
great post