Thanks for the encouraging words, Pelican. It's scary taking that first step to life w/o ABF and there's no doubt it's painful. It hurts. It hurts a lot but the more I can grasp the concept of the pain of the last little while with him and the "never-ending-ness" (I made up a new word I think) of it and weigh it against the pain I'm feeling now - knowing that there is an end to this pain at some point in time, it does help me to a degree.
Thank God I have a four legged canine support system-Lord knows he has been through a lot with my up and down emotions and ABF's but through it all, seeing that sweet face always there for me is a comfort. He reminds me of what is real and gives me a reason to get through the day - feeding, walking, playing those are things that will help me to keep my mind focused.