cagreg9

Hi,
I love coming here at the end of the day.It can be so helpful.I recently hired a lawyer at least to get my husband into court. I know I have read that for the most part division of property etc is for the most part 50/50. My AH was asked to leave over 6 months ago, not telling us (myself and 3 children) where he is living. It used to bother me but I don't care anymore. We have been married 23 years and for the most part I thought we were happy. Then the drinking started and escalated, it was too toxic for myself and more importantly the kids he not live with us anymore. He has not come to terms with his alcoholism and has gotten progressively worse. We are ruined financially, I feel because of his alcoholism. Over the past year or so my parents have given me over 30,000 to help keep up with mortgage etc. We have a substantial amount of equity in our home,which he has told me repeatedly he doesnt care about the house anymore he doesnt live here. This man use to be a loving Dad, but alcoholism has destroyed his love for his family. He has given us a total of maybe two thousand dollars since he left. In the past five weeks, a grand total of 130.00. My My youngest child went from being an above average student to a struggling student who was pulled out of the classroom on a daily basis, as they thought she may have some kind of learning disability. I disagreed but respected the teachers opinion as her motives were well intentioned.I felt it may have been anxiety etc. In 2008 when my ah behavior began to escalate, my youngest daughter tested on the staate scores as needing improvement. This past June after my husband had been out of the home for two months she scored in the advanced range. This has eaten away at me and I am trying to forgive myself for letting it go on so long. But so happy she is thriving in school. He has driven them while intoxicated, been publicly drunk at sons baseball game and even threatened the coach. I could go on.
A few months ago he lost his job, which was inevitable.He worked at a college, and the greatest benefit he had was free tuition for my oldest daughter who is now at college. I will now have to figure out a way to pay for it. Will a judge take into consideration all these matters when awarding support, division of assets etc? He states he has no money, but he does have over 60,000 in stock which he refuses to sell to help support us. I have been working much more steadily since he has left the home, because I dont have the fear of leaving the kids with him. (work afternoons and nights)I will be starting a new job in a few weeks. I do not feel he deserves half of our home , much less anything else. Does anybody know if a judge will take all this into consideration? I am so worried he will make my children move from their home, its not fair to them, they have been through enough. I would appreciate any feedback.