LOL
That sounds eerily familiar!
My mom used to be like that...in that she had everything planned and everyone was supposed to do as she had scheduled and etc.
It was nerve racking for us grown kids.
I once went horseback riding with the neighbor lady was 5 minutes late for dinner, which she hadn't told me about and she about had a meltdown. Whew! Enough, all ready.
My suggestion would be to get a hotel room, let her know you will be in town to visit...but also state in a friendly conversational way that you also have some plans of your own...that you are looking forward to.
swimming in the pool?
getting rest from work and enjoying the room with a great movie or book...that rare nap to rest from your busy work schedule....siestas are understood there?
I am just throwing things out there.
But in those situations, I plan in advance and have things like this at the ready for an out when I need or want one.
We are going to be visiting David's family for Thanksgiving and they are great, but I still know I will want an out for some time for myself and am all ready laying the groundwork for that.