I too am the daughter of a alcoholic mother I have was given the advise by a therapist 20 years ago to join a adult children of alcoholics support group and then he would be able to help me with my life and the anxiety and the insanity I felt. I did not do that and now 20 years later here I am I wish I would have surrendered that feeling that it was not my problem and I would deal with my own feelings. Much has happened in that 20 years and I am now starting down that path. I could not leave my young children with their grandparents either because of my mothers drinking. I went through all your same emotions It was exhausting. I support you in your venting it is healthy. Seek out a group and allow yourself the support and education they have to offer. I can not turn back the clock but it would have saved me and my family so much heart ache. Trying now to heal you are in my prayers.