Opus

You're absolutely right, Tammy. It is awfully abusive to say something like this - it's childish, is what it is. It's something a kid would say because a kid does not know how to control emotion, or how to think through things, or how to express themselves. Perhaps people who say things like this simply have never really dealt with emotion or grief. I don't think my AP knows what to do with his emotion, and that is why he turns to drink. It's NOT right, of course - I tell you, it hurt me awfully. I got on the 'phone to my mother, who works with special needs children, and she gave me a lot of insight into why he would say this and why not to pay any attention to it - which naturally is easier said than done!

Grieving does some screwy things to people. Thankfully we have since had a talk in which he let me express myself fully - that I didn't like what he said; that is wasn't true - that it was hurtful and awful. And a REAL apology followed. Thankfully he's never said anything like that again since. not making excuses for him, but just elaborating on that a little there

Right now, he's been pretty calm for about a week. Not a forced calm either - really quite calm, like he's had the wind knocked out of his sails. It must be hard for him to not get drunk and not yell... he's doing it though, which is nice. It really is nice, because I don't have to spend so much time actively keeping away from him, or failing to be inspired in my work because of his drunkenness. See, I'm an artists and writer and have quite a number of clients: the yelling and the drunken behavior was not only preventing me physically from working (I would have to take care of the kids all the time - there was no other parent, not really) but was also just totally blocking all inspiration and will to work ad get involved in writing and designing. All of which was bloody annoying and inconvenient, quite frankly!

So TODAY, all is quiet on the Western front. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but all together, it's been a pretty smooth week - I've gotten a lot of work done, been calm and had a couple of very nice evenings with AP and the children. Tonight, we are going to a movie as a family, so that will be nice.

I will keep you all posted. It's just nice having a few non-crazy days, ya know? It's all apt to change at the drop of a hat, obviously, and I don't trust him to stay sober indefinitely, I'd have to be a fool to say that...lol!