If yours is anything like mine.. he will start off kind, sweet and loving. Then he will ask something like "what's wrong?" or "what do I have to do" or bring up a sore subject intentionally, but with a tone of kindness.
That's a full blown setup. He knows why I'm upset, he knows how I feel about x Y or z... he knows I'm mad at him. HOWEVER UNLESS I validate him 100% with my response, thereby contradicting everything I feel and think, and put him on the pedestal, and CONVINCINGLY tell him that either 'everything is great' or that the thing I'm upset about doesn't bother me because I see he's working hard or whatever..... then he turns into the monster.
Then I get my earful.
The kindness is a setup, the question is the hook, and if you don't give them what they want to hear, which is 'you don't have to change I love you so much and you're doing everything perfectly and I'm not even upset about it' then ... well watch out.
I didn't mean to stereotype for everyone, but this is what mine is like. I don't fall for the trap anymore. I just ignore the questions.