thanks for that, bernadette.
ellima- there is no point in establishing boundaries if you aren't going to follow thru. this just encourages them to step over our boundary, see that we aren't serious, and continue the behavior.
your boundaries are exactly that --- yours alone. i found it helpful to write mine out and reflect on them. for me, many of mine were attempts to control my alcoholic. they weren't really boundaries because of that.
as for whether he's lying or not, well, it is quite clear that he is.
for myself, in my own recovery, i had to come out of my own denial.
sorry you're going through this.