I think journaling is healthy. I have to look back over some of my posts and journal entries when I am feeling vulnerable, and lonely. I don't want to go back into a relationship that was unhealthy just because I am lonely and afraid of an uncertain future. My notes help me remember.
When I was ready, I also needed to forgive. I needed to forgive myself first, then my partner. Myself because I had compromised myself and put up with unacceptable behavior and put up with it longer than I should have. I also needed to accept and forgive myself for my part of the relationship. It's a process that takes time.
I learned here at SR and through Alanon meetings to put down the magnifying glass that kept me focused on the A in my life. I was so focused on his behaviors and needs that I stopped looking at myself. I needed to put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror. It's not an easy step, but it has helped me see myself and now I know the areas of my life that need my attention. I accept that as I mature, I will continue to find areas that need my attention. Recovery is a process.
Some of the old timers in my Alanon meetings have been there many many years. They continue to work the steps every year. Each time they learn more about themselves.