Thank you to all of you for the reply. IF I had known yesterday it was going to be him on the phone I would not have answered. But because of the area code and number I thought it was the counselor at the facility calling me. Even though we are now legally divorced he is still on my health insurance through the end of the year and so they have had to call me about a couple of issues. I was not expecting to hear his voice and it caught me totally off guard.
Last night I started myself a journal filled with all the things he has done to hurt me. Maybe that isn't the best approach but somehow for now the anger of realizing he is not capable of loving me is helping me move forward. I am seeing a counselor but have not had much luck finding an alanon group that made me feel comfortable. The first one I went to left me feeling like I had done everything wrong and I kept wondering if I was the reason for what he has become. So I am hoping the one on one time with a counselor will be a better fit for me.
Prayers for all of you and what you have endured and what you have achieved in recovery.