The best thing I can suggest for you right now is to repeatedly (like, multiple times a day) plop your butt down in a room full of recovering addicts (NA is a perfect place) and ask the people there if they can help. And then ... just try to do whatever it is that they suggest that you do.
And you also need to stop thinking so much. Find some faith. You get clean and stay clean, everything is going to work out just fine. Trust me on this, okay? Whatever is meant to be ... will be.
Welcome to the boards, and good luck to you my friend.