Just knowing I am NOT alone when I feel so alone is a help in its on way. Does it sound terrible for me to say in some ways I feel it would be easier if he were dead? Death after a time of grief does bring closure.
He called me today crying and begging me to come because he doesn't want to stay there as long as they want him to. My heart was breaking but I never let it show. I don't know how people survive this.