I have no problem admitting I am an addict. I know that. I am positive of it. But the self will is where it gets complicated for me. I dont like letting go of the controls. Even when I know I am wrong. But being a crack addict you dont have any control anyway. I know I cant do this my way. I am learning that there is something greater than me. There has to be. I stopped questioning how things happen in that aspect for a little while now. I just learned to go with it and be thankful for the most part. It doesnt matter to me who, what or why. But something has kept me here trying. And thats all that matters right now.