Well my father just left. He is going to go and tow my car out and bring it here so I have a vehicle to find work and get to where I need to go when I get back. It will still have the flats until I get the money to fix it.
I wont have the keys until I get help. I am handing the title over as well so I cant sell it either.
Which was what I was going to do in my drug haze yesterday. I was just going to junk it to get it out of there and to get money to get high more. Is that sick or what?
I am calling to see if there is a bed in the place I was beofre to bypass the ER since he wont take me. My gram has no way of getting me there right now cause she has kids she is babysitting.
A whole bunch more of excuses. If this place still wants me to go to ER first. I am calling an ambulance to come get me.
I am so angry now at myself. For letting this happen again.
I still have to call my job and see if they found that money that went misiing. It wasnt even my shift. I took the money in like 10 mins before the next person came in. I recorded it in the system and put the money in the drawer. The next guy who is new never counted the drawer while I was there. I know I put that money in the drawer because I just got done pulling ym drop and recounting the drawer down to where it should be. The guy checking in came in right when I was doing that. I told him to hang on so I could finish counting as to not mess up my numbers by adding his money before I counted down cause I had already closed my shift. I even remember what he gave me and the change I gave him. So that money was suppose to be in the next persons count.
I quit my job and this happens. I didnt know there was an issue wityh money until I told her I was leaving. And she told me that there was money missing and that she thinks that looks bad now that I am quitting.
I even called her for that check in because I had to put the deposit on a credit card and he payed for the room in cash. I am not that stupid to call my boss and ask about a transaction and then take it.
I am over the stealing. I wouldnt do that. And I know that money has to be there somewhere.
But I do see how that looks. How do I go from the dedicated employee who they consider an asset and is one of the dependable ones to this?? I do know but I am so tired of doing like I know I can and then really making myself look like this. This is not the real me. What they see when I am there everyday doing like I do and being reliable is who I am.
Today is really hard emotionally and mentally. All the shame and guilt is amplified.