I heard it said a million times but didn't really understand it until recently. They will try, do, say ANYTHING once they lose control. They (my ex's) lost control. Everything, I, was no longer in their hands. Suddenly they were faced with following instead of leading. It was "OMG, she's not under my every command anymore! Quick....look sick, upset, sad, whatever it takes to get her back under me!"
Wow. Says it all, really, doesn't it? I needed this today! Thank you!
Tired, I too feel like a jerk. I feel like I am the one that uprooted my seemingly happy family.
It does get easier, it does get better. One day at a time here, it will be fine.
You are the one who finally decided to end the madness and the chaos, so you and your kids could have a better life. And that is something you should be proud of.