Ohhhh..... McTired, I can certainly understand your sentiments.
I have been doing absolutely wonderful for the past few weeks.
I kept feeling my self esteem coming up as well as my confidence.
I have been feeling better about myself AND our relationship.
How silly of me to put faith in that.
For the past few weeks he has been working during the day and working on his truck every night. He needed to get it fixed and back on the road. He could drink while he was working on his truck, but not as quickly or as much.
Therefore, it was always in his system, but not enough to turn him into an instant a**hole. Well, yesterday, the truck was finally finished and he and his father went immediately to the local club. Time to pour on the sauce quick and become a raging lunatic. It is very ugly!
I went spent several hours with my daughter and my niece yesterday. Heaven forbid that I wasn't sitting here waiting for him to climb upon his throne. He came home, drunker than sh*t, came into the bedroom, woke me up, and proceeded to drill me about "When did you make these plans to go shopping with your daughter?" "Why wasn't I told about it before today?" "Why weren't you home earlier?" "I want some answers and I want them now!" Yeah, okay, like I'm going to talk to him. I told him to get out of the room and leave me alone. He did, but 15 minutes later, he was back in the bedroom, bugging me again. I was ignoring him and he HATES that. Then he started rough-housing with my puppy who was also trying to sleep. He was doing ABSOLUTELY everything he could to get a fight going with me.
They disgust me when they're in one of their drunk rages.
I am feeling a little, down, tired, and disappointed today.......BUT, I am not going to let this insolent, arrogant, a**hole ruin anymore of my life. He hates it when I go to the gym. He hates it when I have lunch with a friend. He particularly hates it when I spend time with my only daughter. Tough sh*t!!!
I'm putting him in the back of my mind where he belongs.
God bless you McTired! I hope that you feel better today and a little better every day. My friends on here have helped me to realize that the name calling and the cruel words are not about me, they're about him.
((((((((HUGS AND UNDERSTANDING))))))))))