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Old 11-15-2009, 08:14 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
bval
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CA Native
Posts: 2,509
Man, there are so many actions and thoughts in your post(s) that run along the lines of 'famous last-words', I can't even tell ya. You can try to spin it any way you like, but the bottom-line is ... relapses are inherently NOT a positive thing. If the net result ends up being the positive one you speak of, then you got REALLY lucky my friend. I highly advise you not to test your luck in this way again.

Remember that by definition, addiction is something that is not 'on our own terms'. If I had a nickel for everytime I've heard someone say that they went along doing their drugs long after the point of still liking their drugs ... I'd have ... a whole bunch of nickels

Do not underestimate the cunning and powerful nature of this disease my friend. Next weekend your disease will start telling you things like 'look, see, you didn't go back to using coke everyday like you did before! You can HANDLE it now! Last weekend, you did a whole teener to your head, you shouldn't have done so much, that's why you felt crappy the next day! Just get a gram this time and you should be okay!'.

And right now, you're thinking 'no way!' ... but it can still end up happening, believe me. Now is the time for extreme caution, not overconfidence, and certainly not a pile of self-deceptive 'spin'. Losing the 'momentum' of 2 years of staying away from your drug of choice is not something to be taken lightly.

I highly advise you to adopt an attitude that admits that you really messed up, and that now you are in a dangerous period of your life because of it. There's nothing inherently good about what happened. The only way that what you did can possibly 'become good' ... is if you never take cocaine (and I'd advise you not to drink as well) again in your life.

I hope you will see the wisdom in keeping these thoughts in mind here moving forward. Good luck my friend.
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